Becoming Mama

the note the boys principal had at school on the 10th anniversary weekend...
the note the boys principal had at school on the 10th anniversary weekend…

September 11…

For me it is a sad time of remembrance.

I remember the planes, The buildings, Howard Stern on the radio as I made the very long drive into work for a “telemarketing” company. I drove down a long stretch of 2 lane highway. Open highway with grass in the middle. I remember driving, but not driving. All of my fellow commuters listening in absolute astonishing disbelief. I remember all of us looking towards the sky of our cars as a single military plane flew over the highway. I sat in the parking lot of my work, they still wanted us to go and knock on doors. I realized what had happened, and I quit. I drove home. My grandparents were visiting from Oklahoma. They were supposed to fly home that day. September 11, 2001. They stayed an extra week.

October 13th, 2001, Steve proposed. The events of that day made him realize how short life is. they made him want more. They caused him to propose to me. I didn’t know this then. I do now.

November 16th, 2003, we were married. It was beautiful, and a bit tragic. My grandmother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Steve’s Aunt suffered a seizure. My Aunt could not come because of weather? or my uncle’s health? Or her health? Truthfully,  the reason escapes me, but her presence was missed. Happiness wrapped in sadness.

September 11, 2003…

I was in labor. My doctor didn’t believe it, but I was. We headed home. I ate Burger King, and watched Friends, and the contractions started. Long, and hard, and too far apart. I walked around my dining room for the whole night. In the morning, I went to the hospital, and after much fanfare, my oldest child was born. 12:47 PM September 12, 2003. He weighed 8 pounds and 4 ounces.

I became Mama…

His journey has not been easy. He can be quirky, he doesn’t always fit in. He is loved. His teachers rave of his skills at school. His friends think he is funny, and I feel blessed to be his mom.

I was so adamant that he not be born on September 11. It was too fresh. Too real. I did not want him to share a birthday with a national “holiday” I wanted him to be special. Unique.

My oldest and my father preparing the playground at my school. Seeing him learn lessons from my dad is priceless.
My oldest and my father preparing the playground at my school. Seeing him learn lessons from my dad is priceless.

I got my wish. He is special and unique, and I couldn’t be prouder of his hard work and dedication to his school work. It is not easy for him. He fights for his grades, has trouble with organization, and sometimes is distracted. He is compassionate, loving, and eager to please. I am proud to be his mom, and I am proud he shares an “almost birthday” with such a special day.

On this day of remembrance, I remember so much, and I am so grateful. I wish I could have seen then what I see now, because September 11th would have been a great birthday. yet as he turns 12 on the 12th, I am grateful for every moment. Being mama. It all started 12 years ago…

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